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Reviewed by on Oct 25, 2010
Screenshot of Bayonetta

A sexy protagonist can only take a game so far, and as much as I appreciate a dedicated seductive taunt button, Bayonetta is just not good. The story is incomprehensible, and the combat is weak. Enemies are generic and frequently recycled. Fighting relies too heavily on slow motion and, despite an extensive list of moves, feels very repetitive. It’s difficult to get the timing right. As such, fighting comes down to button mashing. It’s cool that you can practice moves during load screens, but the novelty wears off after the 100th time. With no health pickups, dying is all too common, and the game has to reload the level every single time. There’s a lot I hate about Bayonetta; it has the world’s slowest camera, it’s inconsistent in many things like where you can wall run, and it incorporates worthless adventure segments. What really pushes me over the edge, though, are the quick-time events. They’re so bad, you even die if you attempt to skip a cut-scene with a quick-time event in it. When will developers realize that nobody enjoys hitting a random button in the middle of a scene?

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Responses to Bayonetta
  1. avatar
    Joe on Oct 25, 2010
    When I played the demo for this game I felt I was open-minded. 5 minutes into it all I could do was shake my head at how terrible SEGA has become. If I'm playing a SEGA game I expect the worlds most annoying sounds, overly dramatic cut scenes, weird-ass stories, and terrible gameplay.
  2. avatar
    John on Oct 27, 2010
    I got so pissed at the random button pushing in the middle of a cutscene... it would be different if it was throughout the cutscene... but to see her jump and attack and then randomly require half-circle + X... makes me want to throw a remote.

    This was one game I'm glad I passed on at launch. I didn't even get halfway before I quit out of boredom.
  3. avatar
    Retom7 on Oct 30, 2010
    I picked it up at $19.99 and havn't even looked at it yet. I have heard good things about it, but wasn't interested at full price. $20 and I will bite on just about anything!
  4. avatar
    Ned on Jun 23, 2011
    I loved this game. Hideki Kamiya (Devil May Cry creator) is a revolutionary. I beat the game four times in a row for unlockables. As my arsenal of weapons and new attacks increased, so did the level of fun. I notice too many people resulting to button mashing in games with difficult combat. When you do that, you ruin the game for yourself.
  5. avatar
    Clark on Jun 24, 2011
    What ruins a game is when button mashing actually works.
  6. avatar
    Ned on Jun 24, 2011
    That's true too. I guess what I mean is it's sad that people don't take advantage of the tools the developers give them to make their game fun. It's sort of like trying to play Uno with every different card deck that comes in front of you. Of course it's not always going to be fun.
  7. avatar
    Joe on Jun 25, 2011
    IMHO there are too many games that do things well
    for me to invest the time into playing a game that requires such a high learning curve to play it "right." While I love me a big long action/adventure game with a great campaign, story, cinematics, and length of gameplay Bayonetta holds no interest to me whatsoever.
  8. avatar
    Ned on Mar 13, 2012
    This has been bugging me for a really long time. There ARE health items. Magic, health, attack strength, and even invulnerability potions can be assigned to the D-pad. I don't think you played past the first level, because after every level, you play an arcade shooting game to win those items. I don't know how you could miss it. Anyhow, I've been wanting to write up my own review on this game, but felt like I would be contradicting you if you didn't fix your review. I felt bad about calling your bluff, but I eventually caved.

    Sorry, but I really had to get that off my chest. *whew*
  9. avatar
    JR on Mar 13, 2012
    You caught me, I was bluffing about playing this game... wait, what? What I meant is that there isn't any health lying around to be picked up while you are playing a level. What you said actually confirms what I was saying. You have to win said health after you beat a level.
  10. avatar
    Clark on Mar 13, 2012
    "You play an arcade shooting game to win those items." Ugh... now it sounds even worse.
  11. avatar
    Ned on Mar 13, 2012
    You also collect them in the world in parts that you combine in the pause menu, between levels is just the first time you can't miss it.
  12. avatar
    Clark on Mar 13, 2012
    You're getting hung up on semantics. "Health pickup" suggests you pick it up off the ground during a normal level without any need to "combine" it in the pause menu. A lack of readily available "health pickups" makes the game harder, thus it's a valid complaint.
  13. avatar
    Ned on Mar 13, 2012
    That's why they're assigned to the d-pad for use at any time. Oh Well, I was confused by that part of the review, and I imagine others are too.
  14. avatar
    Joe on Mar 14, 2012
    What everyone is really dying to know is, Does one ever actually get to see her naked or is she just doing the librarian tease thing for the whole game? amiright? (rimshot)
  15. avatar
    Captain Joel on Mar 16, 2012
    Whoa, I don't know how you guys didn't like this! Bayonetta is one of my most favorite games ever! Button mashing doesn't cut it at all, you need to play it like you would a Devil May Cry and that takes fighting stylishly.

    Also, she doesn't get naked in the game, but you totes can dig up some nude art done by the game's concept artist if you know where to look.
  16. avatar
    Ned on Sep 14, 2012
    Bayonetta 2 has been announced as a WiiU exclusive. If they snag any more great franchises, I guess I'll have to get one.
  17. avatar
    Clark on Sep 15, 2012
    No kidding. They nabbed Rayman Legends, too. I'm surprised by some of the franchises they're getting.
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